Relating to others

Our social orientation and approach to relationships determines the quality of the culture. “If you aint relatin', you aint livin',“ an older gentleman once said to me many years ago . This line has spawned dozens more conversations I’ve had with many other elders and peers who still practice the old-school methods of communication to develop and maintain meaningful relationships. The conversations between us usually covered things like the immaturity and unawareness of too many people and how they occupy themselves on their cell phones, laptops, social sites and electronic gadgets while they’re with their friends or worse yet, on a date, with their significant other or family members. Generally, the people addicted to technology like this is at the expense of relating to their fellow human beings. From what I have personally observed they’re usually from a western or westernized country, under the age of 50 with an increasing population within the 15 to 35-year-old crowd. The problem isn't technology itself it's how it's being used. Do you use technology to serve others or just to please yourself?

The wiser folks know when to use the off switch and relate to people in their home, community and in social places like coffee shops, eating spots, bars and pubs, nightclubs and other social venues. My opinion, from a professional and personal perspective, is they’re used to tuning others out and getting into their insular world of narcissistic fantasy, thereby, losing capacity to carry on any kind of meaningful conversation. This neurosis is often accompanied with a nearly 5-second attention span with little or no interest in getting to know anybody unless they get some superficial benefit from it. This type of anti-social or sociopathic behavior is, unfortunately, fueled by the communication or entertainment technology that seemed to be intended to bring us closer together rather than tune others out.


Fortunately, libraries, our wiser elders, our true friends, old-school visionaries, artists, philosophers, writers and the like are still around to visit or consult. The corporations, most media, technology and recreational toys offer no culture while libraries and creative, wiser folks do. When culture is in decay it's not because of the dangers of technology, its because of the unwise ways many of us use it. It has to do primarily with self-awareness and the way we manage our time and energy. Those who aren't aware of this yet are incapable of using the off switch, hopelessly addicted to any self-indulgence regardless if the computer or smart phone was there or not. So a question that has often come up is, how do we re-develop our culture?

The core of the successful ancient and even more modern civilized cultures was a philosophy or wisdom a group of wise elders taught to their communities and nations. The success of a civilization was because there was a collective willingness to open up to honesty and reality in this ever-present moment. Even children and younger people in these societies were revered for their "beginner mind" or innocent approach to life where the possibilities are endless. The non-jaded mind was considered the best mind because there is innocence, no clutter from conditioned thinking and, therefore, no limits to what's possible. Imagination, good health, positive energy and wisdom were the rule well beyond any "box" paradigms or ugly parts of modern society. The wiser elders and younger people worked together to create a creative, holistic and peaceful society. The younger people and elders actually listened to each other and this enabled the society to create great things with their strong relationships.


I cite many of the indigenous cultures, The Ages of Enlightenment, early ancient Greece, Egypt, China, South America and India and civilizations that pre-date them as examples of societies that manifested awe-inspiring creations and maintained peaceful relations before ego took over with warring and social discord ruining these empires. Today this cultural richness can be observed in bits in pieces here and there, more likely admired as an old ruin or under glass in a museum with a dumbed down historical backstory. In reality, these civilizations are good models to look to as a means to remember how to re-establish a thriving society and lift our own out of decay.


Many of our history books and historians fail to report even the possibility that many of these societies possessed advanced technology and wisdom well beyond where any modern society is at in the world right now. However, I wish to thank the History Channel, the great writers and counter-cultural teachers past and present for attempting to re-educate people and inspire them to critically think and inquire into crucial subjects. Everything we need to re-grow into a whole world rich with culture, wisdom, imagination, abundance, strong relationships, sustainable integration with nature and the ability to explore inner and outer space is already available to utilize. When people decide it’s time to focus on this subject instead of just sensual pleasures, intellectual delicacies, what I’m going to get and not lose, Obamney, the economy, Warcraft, Jersey Shore, texting friends constantly, trying appear "cool", looking self-important on a laptop in a coffee shop, getting a puppy (because all the other young, female celebrities have one), then we’ll be on to something.