Basic psychology of non-duality

Every second we are alive in this body is dedicated to what we are. I call myself out as much as anyone else as being SNAFU'd by my own mind and emotional ego investments to prevent me from understanding what we are and having insight into my life and the lives of others. Being aware is a full paying attention.  I am aware of my mental habits from my ego identity, i.e., making associations, comparisons, judgments, assumptions, negative misperceptions, believing my thoughts, forming belief systems, and convincing myself that my stories of suffering or whatever are true. I know all this mental crap and its emotional dragging down has to leave yet I hold onto it because it's familiar and what I'm used to or conditioned by. I get hypnotized by my own vision forgetting I am co-creating with others. My uniqueness is a great gift but I have become insular in my own delusional dream of my ideal without collaboration. Since my sense of separate self is still operating, I manufacture all kinds of crazy thoughts and follow through with a few of them. I wasn't listening to my heart but following my crazy mind which brought me more pain and confusion. How do I release these negative habits for my own benefit so I can always enjoy peace and clarity? The simple solution is being aware of it all. The awareness and process of observing that preceds the 'I self sense' is aware of all my egoic peccadillos and arbitrary meanings I put to everything I observe in life. Then the release of false and negative content with its emotional heaviness can begin. That's all that has been happening this whole time except at one point I was not aware and now there's awareness. There is a shift of so-called perception from the "I" to the witnessing awareness. In observing the ego clearly I see my attempts to be humble or superior as all funny business. I notice it's impossible to take my 'self sense' seriously. Everything goes out the window...everything I have constructed in my mind is false. Disillusionment of the ego feels scary, uncomfortable, unstable, upsetting and emotionally challenging. In a desperate last ditch effort to avoid being aware and the ensuing shit-storm of elimination for illumination, my ego tries to keep life right where it is or chase a fantasy and, of course, it never works out because I don't quite trust anything anymore. I have believed my mind and ego identity for too long so that letting go seems painful. The truth is it was my mind believing that loss is horrible when in fact that experience was designed to cut me loose from the fantasy so that I would understand reality. The love and gratitude grows stronger each day in identifying where I'm holding on to pain and why and letting it go.